I was born a ramblin’

Last week my digital camera broke. It simply gave up the ghost, decided it was finished. Ironically, it was the same day my Grandmother did the very same thing. No matter how many batteries I tried nothing brought it back. My dad wasn’t too pleased I tried that on Grandma either. Kidding, of course (it’s a coping mechanism).

Needless to say the last week has been a hurried blur of heart-break and stress. There were arrangements to be made, family to console and as always, work to attend. Plus the ever-present groceries to be purchased, kids to entertain and pets to care for. Nothing stopped, except for those two.

The need to express myself in images overcame me, Like I’d forgotten all about pen and paper. But you see I genuinely needed my camera that day. my littlest brother was getting married and I was going to shoot his ceremony along with everyone else. Because who doesn’t love a million copies of a happy couple?  We’d discovered gram’s passing only hours before so it became a bittersweet day with happy and some sad tears.

It got me to thinking about the different ways we express ourselves creatively, and how they can work hand in hand. Sometimes to help us cope. Do you have anything like that? I know many creative people who have a myriad of artistic outlets. Crafting, and fun projects can coincide with their muse for painting. Sculpting can emerge from a spirit that is immersed in music. In my case, snapping a picture of something that only I can see, can directly inspire my writing. In some cases creating a whole new story.

I’m not sure if it was because I knew I could never have my Grandmother back, but I was compelled to fix my camera. The idea that I’d never hear the shutter clicking again haunted me. I raced around town to the camera stops (no?) pun intended) and asked for advice, or repair help. With the final dagger to the heart being that it wasn’t worth the fix. It just wasn’t that great of a camera.

Be still my breaking heart.

I think fixating on the camera helped me cope with the week. I had lost 2 things that were always there when I needed them.

To make a long story even longer, I couldn’t save the camera, and I can’t afford a new one. Always one with a back up plan I reached for my old Nikon film slr. The quality is still impeccable, dare I say better. I’ll admit, I spent way more money on the film slr. Explains the quality. So I may have some pics for y’all pretty soon. After I pick them up from the developer that is.

Here are a few ideas for back up muses/ pointless hobbies are:

  • scrapbooking
  • caligraphy
  • coloring
  • journaling
  • upcycling projects
  • painting
  • drawing
  • online design programs
  • fashion journaling
  • bullet journaling
  • soo soo many others (I mean, just look at pinterest)

The moral of the ramble is this. Have a back up. If you can, have a back up for your back up. This week my grief and stress overtook my life and I didn’t want to write anything. Fairly unusual for me. Instead I wanted to pick up the lens and pour my heart through that instead. You don’t have to coordinate them, or fuse them together in any way if you don’t want. It’s just good to have something that will be there for you. No matter what. The way Grandma was.



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