Unfinished

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Hey Y’all, how’s your summer going? Mine has been hot, slow, and full of fun. I’m not going to come to you in this blog and tell you what awesome thing I’m doing now or what I’ve got planned next because I’m currently taking some time to figure that out. Remember when I said I was going to share my journey in self-education with you? Well, this is part of it. This is the part where I slow it down, think through what I want.  I’m spending evenings in conversation with compatriots, reflecting, taking their advice and piecing together my own puzzle.

Now, I know our society doesn’t allow for this slowing down. This “sorting things out” phase is boring and uninspiring. But it shouldn’t be, it really shouldn’t be. Summer is the perfect time to take it a bit slower and refocus on the things you want to strive for.

I tend to slow down with both my writing and my studies. They are still very much important to me, but I do enjoy squeezing in as much fun as possible during these long hot days. Plus, something about knowing I have all night long to finish that chapter puts me in a place where I feel truly free. This summer though is a bit more unique than the last few I’ve had to cherish. This is my last summer with my children before they both go to school full time in the fall.

I don’t have to tell any mother what a huge thing this is. My baby, my youngest child will be going to school and I’ll have the day to do whatever it is that I need to do!! I can clean, shop, write, paint, sculpt, take photos, began my parkour lessons. All of it! My mind runs rampant with ideas and possibilities.

woman stands on mountain over field under cloudy sky at sunrise
Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com

In truth, however, I find myself with a huge decision to make. What’s next? I’ve talked about going back to work when the kids are in school, but the reality of that requires a lot more thought. I won’t deny that I’m taking a serious and hard look at my education as the time draws nigh.

Any person who is thinking of going to college should consider all aspects of their decision, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m doing just that. I know what I want my future job to be like. Yet, as I’m researching and building up my resume and applying for various positions I’m suited for; I’m finding more than a few that require that stupid piece of paper. Why do they have to be the jobs I’m so interested in?!

I know what you’re thinking. How dare she? I thought we were on the same page here.  What happened to self-educating? College is the devil! Well, if that’s what you heard you weren’t listening. College is hard, it’s expensive, it’s time-consuming. Often times, it’s a waste of money. Once in a while though, you need it to do the job you really want. The one you close your eyes and envision. Now, I’m not saying I’m going back. I will most likely clutch my pennies to my chest and run out of that university when I go to get information in a few days. What I am saying is like you, there are a lot of times when I feel like that would be the easiest way to go.

Like you I also have to do my research, lots of it. I’m currently doing searches for jobs that I would love to have one day to see what they require. I’m also researching the difficulties of breaking into the field I’m choosing. If it’s a career that has an age stigma I may have my answer right there (although I’m not old at all). I’m researching the best cities to live in for this job, the cost, the job prospects, the quality of life. Everything must be considered.

young woman thinking with pen while working studying at her desk
Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

The point of these last couple of posts about education is not to deter you from furthering your education. In fact, pursing said education could be the only profound thing you ever do on this planet.  This is why I still have my podcasts lined up and ready to go, my books downloaded and read every morning, and my laptop glinting in the corner waiting for me to get to work. Hard work waits for no one, but it can take a break.

At the end of the day, when my decision is haunting me and wearing me down I can remind myself of two things. I am a writer who works hard and I am loved. Sometimes those are the only things that matter.

Whichever route I go, I know there’s no use in kicking myself for not believing in my dreams when I was younger. When I had chosen a ‘safe’ career. I can’t get back those years or credits spent on the degree I no longer use, but I can look to the future and see that it’s open and it is wide and it is very much mine.

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