Things have been difficult for me lately. I’m in a financial crisis, having a hard time keeping up with the cost of living, contemplating life as a criminal kind of difficult. Who doesn’t have that from time to time? Still, it’s been frustrating. I haven’t even been able to hop online to deliver any funny anecdotes, about reading a philosophical book I don’t quite understand or engage in the corner of the web where writers like to lurk. I’ve locked myself in my own realm of frustration and anger.
Now, I’m naturally an optimistic person. Feeling angry or frustrated is not something I take too kindly. I’m quick to partake in some meditative practices and come back with a fresh mind, ready to tackle the problem. However, my problem isn’t abating, it’s deepening. I’m reluctant to give specific details but all I can say is Namaste out of my way! My spirit is hardening against a lot of this garbage people put up with in everyday life.
I will say that because I’m having a hard time fixing the problem I’m currently knee deep in, it’s causing me to really take a long hard look at the underlying issue. I’m channeling my anger to fix the root of the issue (ha maybe I am magic after all) not just put a bandage on it. It’s motivating me, and I’m learning that emotions are not things that need to be fixed. Anger, sadness, guilt, envy and all of happiness’ ugly sisters are important too. They deserve to be felt, they exist for a reason, and so I’m not going to meditate them away this time. I’m going to take them and shape them and turn them into what they’re meant to be.
I would like to add that my MC in my novel also goes through an ‘angsty’ period the entire first half of the novel. This attitude of mine is giving me perfect insight into how he’s feeling and processing things. If I want to be super cheesy and turn the negative into a positive, I could say there’s no better way for a writer to research. I won’t say that though, because I’m still angry at the world and I won’t talk myself out of it this time. After all, things wouldn’t really get done if people were always perfectly happy.
I wish you plenty of ink my friends, and if you don’t have it, freaking steal it.